I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize