I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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