Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize