Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You're like the curious george of whores
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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