my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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