Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
