why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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