'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
