I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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