he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize