If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
