dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
