So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
