i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
