EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Vodka?
Forever.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
