dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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