It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
