big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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