Are we in a gay sports bar?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
