She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
