is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
