you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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