In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
