i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
