he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think i have herpe
just one?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
