Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
did i walk over a car last night?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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