My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
