sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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