i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
