I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
