Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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