Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
