Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think my fart just growled at me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
