are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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