Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
