Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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