Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
