just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
