whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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