In the future we'll all be gay
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just want to make out with him forever
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
