Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
