its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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