He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
