bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
