Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I want her autograph on my taint
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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