It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
