hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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