I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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