She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
