no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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