We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
