just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
