Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
