My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
