The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
