so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
