can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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