yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
