two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
