Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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