we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize