Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize