so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
