If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
