wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
