Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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