i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
