I can tuck mytits in my pants
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
