Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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