I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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